


Ask and You Shall Receive

by MagicBats



Category: Black Clover - Tabata Yuki (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Dildos, F/M, Jealousy, Masturbation, Pining, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-14 12:16:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19273117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicBats/pseuds/MagicBats
Summary: In which you make a new friend, go on a harried adventure and even do a little shopping before finally butting heads with Yami for the first time since your last heated encounter with the Black Bulls captain. [Sequel to Ice Breaker]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Months overdue and here we are! I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to do with this so, expectedly, it got a little away from me. As such, I have broken it up into four - yes! Four whole ass chapters for your reading pleasure! Hopefully, I don't disappoint anyone ... ; _ ;

  
  


  
  


Mornings at the Black Bulls base were a veritable circus, both formulaic in its loud chaos and unpredictable at the same time. It was almost impossible to gauge how wild such a mismatched group of misfits would get on any given day which made the experience a unique one no matter how many times I sat in on them.

  
  


It had taken me off guard at first and I never did quite get used to it. Breakfasts at home were quiet, almost solemn affairs wherein my father took his place at the head of the table and went on about whatever political topic he'd recently latched on to while my mother divided her attention between interjecting his rambling with superficial anecdotes and asking me about my plans for the day. Although generally pleasant, I'd never felt truly engaged in these conversations and my mind often wandered to far off places as I picked listlessly at my food.

  
  


But breakfasts here, or what constituted for them, were such a stark contrast that at first I'd almost found myself missing the company of my parents and our sprawling estate in all its lonesome emptiness. Arguments about seemingly nothing, pointless shouting, casual threats of violence, free-flowing alcohol and the scorch marks on the long table that signified more than one real fight had broken out in the past over eggs and bacon. It seemed impossible for this lot to get through one meal without causing a scene about something or another and I felt downright out of place smack dab in the middle of it.

  
  


To make matters worse the one person I might have been able to look to for solace, Noelle, a royal ranked even higher than me, seemed to have been infected by this ragtag bunch of commoners and she too threw her dignity aside more often than not to engage in a shouting match with other members of the group. The target of her frustrations was usually Asta, which roused my suspicions considerably, but after seeing her get into a heated exchange with Magna and even Finral I marked her off as a lost cause.

  
  


I'd clearly made a mistake in joining the Black Bulls just to spite my overbearing parents and shrug off my familial obligations as the only daughter of our house. That I didn't belong here was glaringly obvious from the first moment I'd stepped foot inside the base, but it was too late now. I'd made my decision and I was a little too proud to back out or ask for help in being reassigned. Such a move would just vindicate my father, proving him right when he'd said I wasn't cut out for the role of a magic knight. I had no doubt he'd take it upon himself to make an appeal to the wizard king for my removal from their ranks altogether if I were to stoop that low which effectively ruled it out of the question. I was determined to see this through just to show him how wrong he was and not even this bunch of lunatics could make my resolve weaken.

  
  


Or so I'd thought anyway.

  
  


But something had changed over the last few weeks. It wasn't so much that I was growing accustomed to this unfamiliar environment or the strange people that inhabited it. Rather it seemed I just wasn't noticing it as much. The screaming went in one ear and right out the other. The way Vanessa sat at the table in her underwear no longer appalled me and whenever a lightning bolt or a fireball flew overhead I didn't even give it a second thought. Not because this was normal behavior, far be it from that. A part of me still recognized how ridiculously out of control these people were but I was a little too preoccupied with … less than wholesome fantasies playing on an infinite loop inside my head to pay it any mind. There was only one thing I could focus on anymore and he just so happened to be taking his spot at the end of the table with a gruff greeting to the assembled party.

  
  


“Yami-san!” Magna whipped his head around, cutting his boisterous disagreement with Luck short. “Morning!”

  
  


“Could you assholes be any louder? It's way too early for this shit.” The leader of the Black Bulls grumped as he took up his fork and none too gently stabbed a piece of ham on the nearest plate.

  
  


I watched with bated breath, barely peeking from the corner of my eye, while Yami lifted the slab of meat to his mouth and tore off a good chunk without a hint of shame. His table manners were as unseemly as the rest of him and I wasn't so sure he even knew how to use a knife. I should've found this display revolting given my strictly prim and proper upbringing but when all it did was make my heart pound even faster, I forced myself to look away.

  
  


“We were just about to see who's stronger!” Luck quipped eagerly, his eyes locked solely on Magna.

  
  


“Like hell!” The hot-headed Yankee shot back.

  
  


“Yamiiiii!” Vanessa cooed, ignoring them as she stretched over the table and nearly dipped her bra into a bowl of gravy. “Have a drink with me and lighten up a little! Come on!”

  
  


The man in question narrowed his eyes at her, though she didn't even seem to notice let alone mind it. “What part of 'its too early for this shit' do you not understand? Are you trying to piss me off?”

  
  


“It's not like that's hard to do.” Noelle murmured next to me.

  
  


“Yami!” Asta hollered, shooting up to his feet. “What sort of mission do we have for today?”

  
  


“Nothing official but if you all don't shut the hell up I'll make you clean the toilets with your own toothbrush!” A pause. “Can someone pass the damn waffles already? I'm starving over here!”

  
  


There was a beat of expectant silence and then Noelle roughly jabbed me in the ribs with her elbow. I brought my head up, already taking a breath to tell her to knock it off when I realized that everyone's eyes had abruptly shifted towards me all of a sudden. Swallowing whatever I may have said, I swiveled my attention forward to apprehensively regard the innocuous plate of waffles sitting directly in my line of sight. My face suddenly felt unbearably hot. This could not be happening.

  
  


“I won't ask again.” Yami growled, and even though it sounded like he was addressing the room at large I still shivered as if he'd directed that comment specifically at me.

  
  


Feeling embarrassingly transparent, I reached out and mechanically picked up the plate. Gauche was sitting on my other side, acting as an effective barrier between me and Yami, but he was far too engrossed in staring at a picture of his little sister to pass the waffles along. I had no choice except to stretch over him and I did so with my eyes firmly averted, refusing to look at anyone and least of all at the object of my affection.

  
  


“Thanks.” Yami murmured as he took the offered plate and skewered his fork into the topmost waffle.

  
  


I dared to steal a quick glance as I settled back into my seat, not surprised to see him taking an indelicate bite out of that too. What _did_ surprise me though was the way he was watching me intently, those sharp hazel eyes of his practically boring holes into my skin. My pulse leaped under the heat of his gaze and suddenly I couldn't look away. Was he trying to tell me something? Convey some sort of unspoken message? My brain was immediately a mess of white static, so many thoughts racing through my mind all at once that I couldn't make heads or tails of it. For a split second, I dared to hope.

  
  


But then Yami broke eye contact in favor of regarding Vanessa with a mildly bothered huff. She was still trying to push him into having a drink with her and I trembled in my old, battered chair, not sure if I should feel relief or disappointment at the loss of his attention. Finally, I settled on a mixture of the two. He hadn't given me so much as a second thought over the last two weeks and I'd be lying if I said the didn't sting a little bit. While he used to seek me out for the sole purpose of pushing my buttons, he now ignored me for the most part aside from barking impartial commands and I hated it. I knew having sex with him would irreversibly change the nature of our relationship but I didn't think it would be like this. Especially not after those things he'd said.

  
  


“ _This pussy is mine, do you understand?”_

  
  


I screwed my eyes shut, fighting down a moan as the memory assaulted me in vivid clarity. Did he not like how my body felt around him after experiencing it firsthand? Had I done something wrong? There were too many options and I had no prior experience with which to compare the situation to. It felt like I was drowning in a riptide of lust and despair, my emotions wildly swinging from one extreme to the next while my hormones wreaked havoc on my body. I wanted to feel him on top of me again, hear him whispering foul things into my ear. That was all I could think about anymore and it wasn't fair of him to act like that entire ordeal hadn't happened – and right on top of the table sitting in the corner not even twenty feet away – so _why_?

  
  


“Hey.” Noelle's gentle voice snapped me out of my trance and I turned to look at her in surprise. She was frowning, concern evident in the delicate pull of her pouty lips. “Are you alright?”

  
  


“O-oh!” I stammered, embarrassed that I'd lost myself in a room full of people. “I'm alright. I just have a bit of a headache, that's all.”

  
  


Her brows only drew tighter together. “Are you sure? You've been having a lot of headaches recently. Maybe you should see a doctor.”

  
  


That's right. I'd almost forgotten I've been using that exact same excuse for the last few weeks to explain why I keep locking myself in my room at random intervals throughout the day. I was really going to have to think of something better to tell them. “I'm fine, I promise. I think it's just the weather so -”

  
  


“Yaaamiiii!”

  
  


Whipping my head around in the direction of that delighted squeal, I was aghast to find Vanessa draping her half-naked body over the captain's burly shoulder so she could pour a healthy dose of mead into his cup. He didn't even seem bothered by it, dutifully puffing away at a newly lit cigarette without a care in the world. It probably shouldn't have incensed me half as much as it did. After all, that's just how Vanessa was. The drunkard clearly had no concept of personal boundaries, an uncomfortable lesson I'd learned my very first night here. But something about seeing her full breasts pressed firm against his bicep and their faces so very, very close together inspired a raging bonfire deep within my chest. Was he sleeping with her too? Was that what the issue was here? Suddenly all I could see was red.

  
  


“Actually,” I said a little more forcefully than I'd intended as I stood up, pushing my chair from the table with a clattering sound. “I think I might go lie down. Since we don't have any missions to see to that should be fine, right?”

  
  


I was fully aware that an awkward lull descended over the Black Bulls at my seemingly unwarranted outburst, but I couldn't quite bring myself to meet anyone's eye for fear of giving away my emotions. The situation was already precarious enough as it was. It felt like I was teetering dangerously close to the edge of a jealous, hurt, confused and needy meltdown and I couldn't risk losing hold of my self-control even if it made everyone all the more suspicious for it. More than anything I needed to get out of here before Vanessa did something else upsetting or, worse! Yami reciprocated her advances in some way. I wasn't so sure I could keep myself in check if he did something – _anything_ to make me believe it was true.

  
  


Spinning on my heel, I stalked out of the room with my head held high, shoulders proudly rounded. If there was indeed something going on between them then that was their business and I didn't have a right to interfere - but I couldn't understand why he would engage with me like he had if that were the case. It just didn't seem right. He'd taken my virginity after all! Surely that should have meant more to him than just a one time fling … right?

  
  


The crushing possibility that I was wrong, that maybe I was taking this too seriously had me fighting back tears as I broke into a run the second I was around the corner. I'd given myself over to him thinking I was prepared to handle whatever may come as a result of it but I'd never expected it to turn out like this. I thought we'd be in it together, as an equally guilty party if not something more committed, and yet now it seemed I was really, truly on my own. The prospect of navigating these churning, tumultuous waters by myself was a frightening one but it didn't seem I had any other choice. Yami didn't want me, surely, because if he _did_ then he would've already come for me.

  
  


It seemed a simple enough conclusion from my perspective, and I raced up the stairs to the third floor of the broken, crumbling stronghold, barely comprehending my surroundings as I ran down the drafty corridor. I managed to find my room on muscle memory alone and, slamming and bolting the door shut, I leaned against it while I caught my breath. He had some nerve! Didn't he know I was from a noble house? I could have almost any man in the kingdom if I wanted but he was turning his nose up at me in favor of a witch? I had half a mind to march back down to the dining hall and tell her exactly what I thought of that.

  
  


Except … I knew I wouldn't do it. Not because I lacked the courage to speak out against this unfair treatment, but because even in the heat of my anger I knew Vanessa wasn't the one I was _really_ upset with. It's not like this was any fault of hers and for all I could tell she wasn't even aware he'd deflowered me. None of them seemed to know. After all, this was a secret between Yami and I; one I'd promised myself to keep and he certainly wasn't known for divulging much of anything. No, they were all completely in the dark about what had transpired between us. I was sure of it. That just meant I had to figure this out somehow, clear my head enough to attack the problem logically rather than emotionally before I let something slip that clued them in. I simply couldn't afford to act on impulse here.

  
  


But that just seemed _so_ impossible to do when my heart felt like it would burst right out of my chest at any moment.

  
  


Groaning, I stumbled over to my bed and plopped down face first on the mattress. Lying there for what felt like an eternity, I played the events of this morning over and over again inside my mind, desperately searching for some sort of indicator that I was mistaken about Yami and Vanessa. That long look he'd given me over the plate of waffles _had_ to mean something, It had to! He'd barely spared me so much as a glance since that fateful poker game and I was positive it couldn't have been a coincidence that he seemed to have suddenly recalled I exist. Surely he was trying to tell me something – or perhaps he was feeling guilty about spurning me for Vanessa? I just found it hard to believe he'd stare at me _that_ hard without a reason.

  
  


My gut clenched tight at the memory. God, _that smoldering, intense look_ he'd given me.

  
  


I valiantly fought the heat of desire pooling within my stomach for as long as I could stand it before finally rolling over onto my back. Pushing my shirt and my bra up to bunch under my chin, I gave one of my nipples a harsh pinch but it just wasn't the same. My soft fingers didn't even come close to giving me the same sensation of mind-numbing pleasure that Yami's had and I hissed in disappointment, reaching down to hike my skirt up around my hips. I'd done this so many times since he'd taken me on that battered table, sequestering myself from everyone else in favor of rubbing my aching pussy to unsatisfactory completion day after day. It just wasn't enough though. It could never be enough, and I turned my head into the pillow so I could openly sob in frustration as I worked myself to the edge yet again. This wasn't how it was supposed to be and I was tired of fingering myself alone in my bed. I couldn't bear another moment of this relentless cycle of overwhelming need and the smothering discontent that came after. I needed to find a way to give myself even a fraction of that bliss so I could make a decision instead of lingering in purgatory while he steadfastly ignored me. There had to be _something_.

  
  


Cumming with a strangled groan, I rocked on top of my bed until the tremors subsided and the fog in my brain faded just enough for me to think straight for a moment. I needed to get my hands on something that was similar to Yami in size and girth – I felt reasonably confident that if it was close enough to the real deal then it would bring me the same satisfaction – but what were my options? I didn't know enough about this sort of thing to make an informed decision, though I'd heard rumors here or there about certain … bedroom aids. But how did one acquire such things?

  
  


It seemed I was going to need some help with this endeavor.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two, here we are! I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far! Feel free to drop a comment and let me know what you think! <3

It didn't take long to narrow down my choices, which was a good thing, but the limited pool of potential options was decidedly bad. Actually terrible, if I were being honest.

  
  


Lying in bed, sweaty and sticky after that less than worthwhile orgasm, I'd promptly and quickly ruled out both Asta and Noelle. They were too young to be of any help in such matters, only a few years younger than me, and I wasn't so sure my pride could stomach the blow if they _did_ for whatever reason prove more knowledgeable than I was. Similarly, Finral was out of the question since he seemed to be as much of a clueless virgin as they were. Asking him would just be pointless. Meanwhile, Gauche was far too obsessed with his sister to spare any time for my personal problems and Gray was too shy. Even if she knew how to get her hands on such toys, I wasn't so sure either of us would survive that awkward conversation long enough for it to matter.

  
  


That already excluded over half of the squad, so from there it was a simple matter of elimination. I couldn't go to Vanessa for obvious, Yami related reasons even though I was quite sure she'd know exactly what I was looking for. Hell, she probably had a few of her own stashed away in her room. Luck, while not half as innocent as he appeared, probably couldn't be trusted to keep a secret. I had no doubt he'd use my plea for help as blackmail so he could goad me into a recreational battle which I wanted no part in. He was simply out of the question and that left three members who I could reasonably confide in, but I wasn't particularly happy with the list.

  
  


Charmy, Gordon, and Magna.

  
  


Each came with their pro's and con's, and I'd deliberated over my final choice for a long time. While Gordon could no doubt keep a secret, I eventually decided that asking him would be too strange. He was much older than me and I already felt embarrassed enough as it was without him making some off-kilter remark that would inadvertently worsen my shame. Charmy, on the other hand, seemed like a good option until I remembered how easy it would be to bribe her with food. If anyone got suspicious about us convening in secret it wouldn't take much for her to spill the beans in the most literal sense.

  
  


It seemed Magna was the only valid option after all and I was extremely hesitant to accept this fact. I kept trying to look at the situation from different angles, find something I'd missed that could dissuade me from asking him, but I only came up empty-handed. He was loud and brash, yet loyal to a fault. If I made him swear secrecy I was sure he would keep his word. He just wasn't the sort to break an oath, even if he _was_ close with Yami, and I knew I could trust Magna for better or worse. It also helped that he was around the same age as me so it probably wouldn't be _too_ awkward broaching the subject with him.

  
  


Now I just had to hope he knew how to get what I wanted so this wouldn't be a complete waste of my time.

  
  


Sighing, I drug myself out of bed and cleaned up so I could get dressed again. I took a moment to fix my hair which was a nice little mess after writhing around and fussing on the sheets for the better half of an hour before unlatching the door and stepping out into the hall. It was as empty as I'd expected, and I took my time carefully slinking down the stairs in search of my target. I didn't want to run into anyone else for fear of getting distracted or taking the risk of losing my nerve if they asked too many questions about what had happened at breakfast. Worst of all would be running into Yami, a possibility I didn't even want to consider, but much to my relief I managed to reach the bottom floor without incident.

  
  


Creeping along through the various rooms and halls, I kept a sharp eye out for Magna but I quickly realized that he wasn't here. Actually, the more I glanced around the more I became aware of just how eerily quiet it was inside the base. This was exceedingly abnormal and a jolt of disappointment shot through me when I considered that maybe they'd all left to go somewhere else without inviting me along. Not that I deserved to go after that display in the dining hall, but still.

  
  


Fighting down the urge to pout, I stopped in the center of the sprawling family room and put my hands on my hips. I was just about to throw in the towel and go back up to my room for round two when I caught the faintest voice off in the distance. Listening intently, I realized someone was singing out in the courtyard and I shuffled over to the nearest window to peak outside. I couldn't see anyone but they were definitely out there and I went off in search of the nearest door, curious who it was. This place had just as many exits and entrances as my family's manor house, and I was still tentatively learning my way around, so it felt a bit like going off on a wild goose chase.

  
  


Thankfully I found a doorway just a few moments later and I stepped out into the bright mid-morning sun with a creak from the rusty hinges. The voice was louder now, more distinct, and I followed it along the edge of the building until I came upon the source. My brows immediately shot up in surprise, heart slamming into anxious overdrive when I realized it was Magna, that dark mohawk of his unmistakable.

  
  


He was hunched over his souped-up broom, singing some coarse yet jaunty tune as he meticulously polished the handlebars with a worn rag, oblivious to my presence. I froze, nervously twiddling my fingers while I sized him up. His back was facing me so he hadn't seen me yet and I silently reminded myself that I could still abort the mission if need be. Reconsider the situation, maybe figure it out on my own.

  
  


I knew I didn't have time for all that though. Not with the three of us living in such close quarters. If I didn't get this out of my system and _soon_ , there was no telling what I might do if Yami let Vanessa paw all over him right in front of me again. Just thinking about it made my blood pressure spike. No matter how many times I tried to remind myself that such behavior was par the course for her, it did very little to lessen the sting of betrayal or make me feel any better about it. I wouldn't interfere though. There just wasn't anything I could reasonably do if that was indeed the game he wanted to play and I knew it.

  
  


But if I couldn't have the real thing again then I figured a worthy substitute would take care of my problem well enough. I was banking on it at this point and there was only one way for me to conceivably test my theory.

  
  


Mustering up my courage, I started closing the distance between us one pointed step at a time.

  
  


“Oh! What are you doing over there, Magna?” I called out, pretending as if I'd only just seen him.

  
  


His head swiveled around to glance at me over his shoulder. “Huh!”

  
  


I started at his hardly welcoming response. I'd been so caught up in deciding who to ask that I had almost forgotten how uncouth and ill-mannered he could be. “I was just – out for a walk.” I supplied lamely as I stopped a safe arm's length away. “Are you doing maintenance on your broom?”

  
  


He fixed me with a less than impressed look. “Ain't that obvious?”

  
  


I blanched, caught off guard.

  
  


Magna's disagreeable personality was throwing me for such a loop that I suddenly didn't know what to say and after a prolonged moment of silence, he turned his attention back to the task before him. Picking up a canister of buffering oil, he dribbled some out onto the dirty rag and went about polishing the pipes he'd attached to the thing as if I wasn't still standing right there. I quietly watched on, regretting my decision to ask _him_ of all people while I scrambled for a way to disengage from the situation. Either I'd greatly overestimated my skills of persuasion or I'd greatly underestimated his dislike of me, and I wasn't sure which option wounded my ego more.

  
  


“What do you want?” He abruptly asked though he didn't really sound like he cared.

  
  


That he'd picked up on my heavy-handed signals at all still took me by surprise, and I drew a steadying inhale. It wouldn't hurt to feel out the situation, I figured, since I was already here. That didn't make finding the words any less of a struggle though.

  
  


“I just wanted to talk,” I said at last. “If we're going to work as a team we should at least be cordial towards one another, right?”

  
  


Magna outwardly scoffed. “You joined us, what? Two months ago? It's a little late to start making friends, dontcha' think?”

  
  


I couldn't help but flush red hot at that. He was completely right, of course. I hadn't exactly made a sincere attempt at getting to know any of them outside of basic introductions, but it seemed a near insurmountable task when one felt so out of place inside this madhouse. That didn't exactly excuse my rudeness though, and I felt a jolt of shame wash over me at being called out on it.

  
  


“I'm truly sorry about that.” I murmured. “This place is, um, a lot to take in, you know? And there's always so much going on around here, it's hard to find the opportunity to just talk.”

  
  


Looking over at me again, Magna narrowed his eyes through the tinted lenses of his sunglasses. “Ya' don't have to beat around the bush. I get it. You're a noble and we're commoners. Just say that next time.”

  
  


“No, that's not it!” I insisted, even though everything he'd said was true.

  
  


We were from two completely different worlds and I had no idea how to bridge that gap without him – or any of them for that matter – making the effort first. That Yami had likely recognized this and pestered me so insistently in an attempt to coax me out of my privileged shell suddenly seemed glaringly obvious, but I was too caught up in the way Magna was scowling so vehemently to give it much thought.

  
  


“Then what is it?” He snapped, clearly losing his patience.

  
  


I hesitated, trying to come up with a good excuse but unsurprisingly finding none.

  
  


“W-well … you're not completely wrong, I guess.” I admitted sheepishly, and when he turned back towards his broom with an audible snort, I rushed forward to grab his attention again. “Wait! Please just listen! Look at it from my perspective, Magna. It's nothing personal, I swear! I just grew up in a certain environment around people who act a certain way and this – this isn't it.”

  
  


“Ya' don't say.” Unimpressed, he viciously spat a wad of saliva into the grass and I reeled back, disgusted. “I'm not stupid, y'know? You think you're better than us.”

  
  


“No!” I wailed, horrified that I didn't know how to stop this disaster of a conversation. All I wanted was advice so I could sever my ties with Yami, forget about him and move on with my life. That's all, and I just didn't understand how something so simple could've gotten away from me like this.

  
  


But before I could fumble for something else to say, he turned on me so fast that I promptly clamped my mouth shut without so much as a peep.

  
  


“I know how this works! You think you're better just because you're a prim little princess who's used to getting everything she wants handed to her on a silver platter.” He all but snarled. “ _So_ sorry I wasn't born into a well-to-do family likes yours, but don't worry. You don't gotta' force yourself to talk to the common rabble as far as I'm concerned. It ain't no skin off my nose.”

  
  


“Magna, please! Just listen to me! That's not it, I swear!” Pleading, I reached out to grab his arm in my desperation. This was not at all what I had envisioned when I'd sought him out.

  
  


“What!” He roughly shrugged me off, standing up from the short stool he'd been seated on so he could tower over me and get right in my face. “ _What_ do you want!”

  
  


I shirked back, horrified by this blown out of proportion reaction from him. The notion that my presence might enrage him hadn't even crossed my mind, least of all to this extent, and for a moment I just floundered helplessly. What could I possibly say that would make things right between us? Did he really want me to apologize for the name I'd inherited through birthright alone? This was insane! I had no more control over that than he did. I didn't get to choose my family but, I realized with a bittersweet sense of irony, I _probably_ could've chosen to be a bit more friendly.

  
  


Damn. It was really my own fault he thought I was a spoiled brat and I had no one to blame but myself.

  
  


“I … I just wanted to ask you for help.” I said at length, blinking back the sting of hurt tears.

  
  


“Oh.” Magna deflated slightly, his anger fading right before my very eyes. He suddenly looked more exasperated than anything else as he awkwardly adjusted his glasses so they were perched up a little higher on his nose, giving me a funny look through them. “Why didn't you just say that from the start instead of acting all weird then? What the hell do you need help with?”

  
  


Frowning in confusion, I searched his face for any sign of malice. “You'll … help me? Just like that?”

  
  


“I mean, yeah.” He shrugged as if it wasn't that big of a deal. “Like you said, we're a team, right? All you gotta' do is ask and I'll see what I can do.” Then, much quieter, he added, “Not that you'd do the same for us but ...”

  
  


My mouth fell open in shock. It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my head and something in my mind abruptly clicked into place, the dawning realization nearly palpable as I gaped at him.

  
  


It wasn't just Magna, though he was certainly the catalyst that finally made me comprehend the truth of the matter. Yami had tried to impart this lesson on me too, that night he took my virginity, and I could've slapped myself for not seeing it sooner. Worst of all was how much sense it made in retrospect and I swayed uncertainly on my feet.

  
  


I didn't feel so divided from the rest of the Black Bulls because of birthrights or titles or any of that arbitrary nonsense, but rather because I was still stuck in the entitled mindset of aristocracy. I was the problem, not them. Instead of expecting that they should to do things for me out of obligation – treat me in a particular way, speak to me kindly, prioritize my comforts, help me find embarrassingly specific toys - all I had to do was be honest with myself and ask for those things. I wasn't owed such niceties based on my family name alone, but if I approached them as one human being to another then they'd accommodate me accordingly. Not because they _had_ to, but because they wanted to.

  
  


It was so simple and I abruptly felt sick to my stomach. God, I really have been acting like a self-centered baby ever since I came here. No wonder they gave me such a wide breadth of space and acted like they didn't want anything to do with me. It was just karma.

  
  


“Magna,” I said earnestly, imploringly. How could I ever make amends to him? To any of them? “I really am sorry about the way I've behaved up until now. It was wrong of me and I shouldn't have acted like I was so much better than all of you. I'm really not. Actually, I'm _much_ worse.”

  
  


He frowned, all but grimacing in response. “Dontcha' think you're laying it on a little heavy, chick?”

  
  


Brows knitting, I tried to process this new nickname without looking like I was offended by it. Even Yami's insistence on calling me 'princess' and everything other than my actual name didn't seem quite as casual as this and I wasn't sure if it was meant as an insult.

  
  


“But its true!” I said, shrugging off my confusion. “I just expected that you would come to me without having to offer anything in return because … I guess that's what I'm used to. I've never had to make the effort of meeting someone on an even playing field before so I really don't know how to go about it.”

  
  


Magna only looked increasingly more perplexed. “So what you're telling me is that you don't have any friends?”

  
  


I blinked, stunned by this declaration. It had never occurred to me think of it like that until now, but he seemed to have hit the mark with his assessment. My parents, other nobles and royals, servants. Those were the only people I'd ever known until now and they'd all had a societal obligation of one sort or another to be courteous towards me. Even the few people in court I would've considered close acquaintances only showed due respect because it was expected of them. It was their duty, not their choice, and I felt even worse as the weight of that sunk in.

  
  


“Yes ... I suppose that's true.” I admitted quietly. “I guess I've never really had an actual friend before.”

  
  


Shifting uncomfortably, Magna brought a hand up to awkwardly rub the back of his head. “Well … that blows.” He announced rather unceremoniously. We'd clearly wandered into uncharted territory and he looked incredibly uncertain on how to proceed.

  
  


I certainly didn't know any better than he did and I dejectedly lowered my gaze. I'd just started to wonder if maybe it was too late to try and fix my mistakes by trying to unlearn the entitled, pompous attitude that'd been drilled into me when I heard him suck in a pained, staggering inhale.

  
  


“Look, uh, don't feel bad about it or nothing. I don't really know what to say here but if it makes you feel any better, I guess we could be friends. If ya' don't mind having someone like me on the roster, that is.”

  
  


“Really?” I perked up, fighting back a smile.

  
  


“Yeah, I mean, it's whatever! But don't go pulling any of that snobby shit again, because as your friend I won't hesitate to smack you back to reality!” He shouted, suddenly embarrassed by what had just transpired between us. “And you're gonna' have to learn the ropes! This ain't no one-way street, missy! Its a give and take kinda' deal!”

  
  


“Of course! Anything! Just tell me what to do!” Squealing softly, I threw myself at him and wrapped my arms tight around his middle before I could think better of it. “Thank you, Magna! Thank you!”

  
  


The fiery Yankee went ramrod stiff against me, letting out some sort of strange, choking sound as he grabbed my shoulders and forcefully put some distance between us. “Enough of that! Men don't hug!”

  
  


“But I'm a girl.” I helpfully supplied.

  
  


“I-it don't matter! You're a man in spirit from here on out, ya' got that? Now tell me what you needed help with before I change my mind!”

  
  


“Oh.” I blurted, suddenly recalling why I'd sought him out in the first place. Was this really the way I wanted to commence our newly minted friendship? Maybe asking Charmy or Gordon would be the better option after all …

  
  


Seeing my hesitation, Magna's hold on my shoulders tightened just a pinch. “What. _Is_. It.”

  
  


I squirmed under his almost manic gaze, torn between coming right out and saying it or clamming up entirely. The last thing I wanted was to make him uncomfortable after we'd made so much progress in our relationship, and in such a short amount of time too, but the longer I looked into his bloodshot eyes (the stress veins in them obvious even through his glasses) the more I realized he wouldn't let me walk away at this point. We were both in too deep now and I took a steadying breath to calm myself.

  
  


“Okay, okay. Just … promise you won't think I'm weird or anything, alright?”

  
  


If looks could kill, I would've dropped dead at that exact moment.

  
  


“I'll take that as an affirmative then.” Sighing, I glanced down then to the right before finally settling on rolling my eyes skyward as if there was something very interesting hovering just overhead. This was even harder to say than I'd expected and I just couldn't bring myself to look him in the face now. “So, you know how everyone has needs, right? As in … baser desires that you just can't ignore without the risk of everything blowing up in your face and making things worse?”

  
  


Magna scowled deeply in response but didn't deign to comment just yet.

  
  


Seeing I had no choice but to continue, I pressed on. “Well, lets hypothetically say that someone had their eyes opened to the, uh, more carnal pleasures of the world by ... a different someone who was fantastic at what they do. Just absolutely amazing in every way. Wonderful. But now they don't seem interested in doing that _thing_ anymore and the first person is at a loss because they can't stop thinking about it and their attempts at recreating those feelings just leave them wanting more. They just need a little bit of help, that's all. So … what would you recommend?”

  
  


There was an uncomfortably long beat of silence before Magna finally drew a tentative breath.

  
  


“What the _hell_ are you asking me?”

  
  


Blushing furiously, I brought both hands up to shyly cover my face. I just had to say it as plainly as I could and hope for the best. God, I felt like a downright idiot talking about this stuff. “L-look, this is really embarrassing and I don't want you to change your mind about being friends with me but I … I just need release. Badly. I think I might actually explode if I don't feel that way again and nothing I do even comes close! Please! What should I do, Magna?”

  
  


Another pregnant pause followed that little outburst and then I heard him suck in a sharp inhale.

  
  


“Are you horny?”

  
  


“Don't say it like that!” I screeched, tearing my hands away from my face so I could glare at him indignantly.

  
  


He sputtered, clearly struggling to keep his expression in check which I did not appreciate in the slightest. “Uh, yeah, if that's what you're talking about, I get it. That's not exactly out of the ordinary or nothing, but you're making it sort of weird. Why don't you just say it like a normal person?”

  
  


“ _Because_ ,” I hissed, narrowing my eyes. “Where I come from normal people don't say it like that!”

  
  


“Oh, right, right. Nobles don't talk about that kind of stuff, huh?” Waving this off rather flippantly, Magna fixed me with an expectant look. “Well? What do you want me to do about it?”

  
  


Blankly staring at him, I tried to decide if I'd actually heard the suggestive lilt in his voice just now or if my muddled brain was playing tricks on me. But then he lifted his brows and jutted his chin down at himself, and I couldn't mistake it for anything else. I was immediately and unequivocally aghast.

  
  


“Good lord!” I wailed as I reached out and smacked him in the arm hard enough to make my palm sting. “That is _not_ what I'm asking you for help with! What is wrong with you!”

  
  


The dam seemed to crack with that and he jerked, throwing his head back so he could cackle up at the sky. I watched on in dumbfounded silence as he curled his arms around his stomach, laughing so hard that he doubled over from the force of his hysterics. It seemed to be contagious because I felt it bubbling up inside my chest a moment later and I snickered, trying to hold it back. I just couldn't stop it though and I found myself laughing right along with him only seconds later. The whole situation really _was_ ridiculously funny when you thought about it.

  
  


“Oooh.” He groaned weakly an eternity later, bringing his hand up to wipe an errant tear from the corner of his eye. “You're too much, chick. I don't know what I'm gonna' do with you.”

  
  


“I hope that's a good thing.” I murmured, still trying to get myself under control. I couldn't remember the last time I'd laughed so hard for so long and the muscles in my face felt sore as a result. But it was a decidedly good thing, and I basked in the warmth of it.

  
  


Slowly straightening up with some noted effort, Magna placed his hands on his narrow hips to steady himself. “Trust me, you're golden.” He said on a somewhat flustered sigh as he craned his head back, regarding the clouds overhead for a long moment. It seemed he was deep in thought and I patiently waited, not wanting to distract him despite my eager interest to hear his thoughts.

  
  


Finally, he clicked his tongue in a way that seemed to imply a conclusion had been reached. “It sounds to me like you need a dildo then.”

  
  


Suddenly perfectly sober, I took an eager step towards him. “What is that?”

  
  


He gave me a doubtful look, though he didn't really seem surprised anymore. “Y'know, its like this,” He said, making some obscene hand gestures. “And you stick it in your -”

  
  


“I get the picture!” I snapped, cutting him off. Then, curiosity getting the better of me, I gave him a quizzical frown. “How do _you_ know about them?”

  
  


“Well, I don't mean to brag or nothin',” He said, clearly posturing as he shuffled his boots further apart like some overly macho caricature. “But I have quite the impressive collection of porn mags so I know all about what the ladies like to stick in and out of their bodies. I've seen everything, girly. I can show you my stash some time if you want.”

  
  


“Thanks, but I think I'll pass.” I murmured, wondering if Yami had any such magazines and ultimately deciding that I didn't want to know despite feeling undeniably curious as to what they might entail. There was already Vanessa to worry about, I didn't need competition from women I'd never even met before. Besides that, we were getting off topic now. “So anyway, where can I get one of these … dildos? Are they hard to come by?”

  
  


Magna shrugged, turning towards his long-forgotten Crazy Cyclone. “Not too hard, I'd say. I see them all the time when I go in to pick up the newest issue of GlamBunny. Hop on, I'll give you a lift.”

  
  


My brows shot up in surprise as I watched him mount the broom. Did I dare believe my own ears? “Are you serious?”

  
  


“Of course! That's what friends are for!” He grinned over at me as the thing came to life with a surge of magic, flames erupting out of the end. “Just keep this in mind the next time I need a favor, ya' got that?”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super late update, I've had a lot of personal things happening over the last few weeks. orz But here we are! Chapter three at long last! Please note that there is a short snippet towards the beginning of the chapter referencing r*pe in a pretty vague manner and also I took a LOT of liberties with not only the market but the Clover Kingdom too. Thanks for reading! <3

The one thing I had to give Magna's souped-up broom credit for was that it was fast. As in, _really_ fast.

  


When we touched down inside the castle town not even twenty minutes later I felt an immense relief to be standing on solid ground again. My legs were like limp noodles as I staggered a few paces before I managed to get my bearings straight and my equilibrium sorted itself out. Positive my hair was disaster after that wild ride, I self consciously brought my hand up to smooth it out. He'd certainly gotten me here in one piece though, and in record time to boot, so I didn't exactly have room to complain about anything. Actually, he'd been nothing but genial towards me ever since we'd sorted out that little kerfuffle between us and while it almost seemed too good to be true, I knew just how lucky I was to have him on my side. Magna didn't exactly seem it at first glance but he was actually a pretty decent guy, and I was glad I'd ultimately decided to seek him out instead of someone else.

  


But now it was time to get down to business. “Where are we going?” I asked, giving the man in question a sidelong glance.

  


“The Black Market.” He said, taking my elbow and directing me down the street. “You ever been here before?”

  


I shook my head. “I've never even heard of it. What do they sell?”

  


“Everything. Whatever that precious, spoiled little heart of yours could possible desire, they got it. I'm not surprised this is news to you though.” Snorting, Magna pointedly ignored my less than amused glare in favor of making sweeping motions with his unoccupied hand. “I heard Noelle didn't know much about it either. This is the domain of commoners and peasants and the riffraff your wet nurse warned ya' about so just stick close to me and you'll be fine.”

  


“If you're trying to scare me, its not going to work.” I grumbled as I jerked my arm out of his hold. “And I _didn't_ have a wet nurse, thank you very much.”

  


Magna rolled his eyes, shoving his hands deep inside his pockets instead. “I ain't trying to scare you. I'm just giving you fair warning. This is nothing like what you're used to and you'd be wise to listen to someone who's a lot more street smart than you are.”

  


“What I'm used to?” I echoed him, recalling that Yami had said something very similar before taking me on top of that old table. “How do you people know what I'm used to?”

  


“Its obvious as hell, ya' ding bat!” He said, reaching over and knocking me upside the head with his knuckles. Paying no mind to my indignant shout, “Hey!”, he grabbed my arm again and pulled me into a shady looking alley. “I'm not saying we're gonna' find trouble but its not out of the question. All kinds of people live here and you never know what you'll get. Besides, I'm sure any man with a working cock just needs to take one look at you before deciding they want you for themselves so try not to go wandering off, ya' got it?”

  


I had to admit, that certainly inspired a fearful shudder in me. I'd heard the rumors, of course, about how barbarous the common man could be when it came to seeking out sexual gratification but I had honestly started to chalk it up to mere libel at this point. Magna was nothing short of a gentleman – a fact that shocked me almost as much as it tickled me, but the way he'd backed off without another word on the matter when I'd rebuked him certainly spoke for itself – and Yami … well. I couldn't conceivably deny how I felt about _him_ and the way he'd treated me after pining over the man for two weeks straight. That I was currently on the hunt for a dildo similar to his own endowment seemed a testament to how much I'd enjoyed myself.

  


Honestly, I couldn't imagine either of them forcing themselves on a woman, nor any of the Black Bulls for that matter. It almost struck me as an old wives tale, a mere story meant to bring me to heel, but I couldn't quite shake the feeling that Magna was being sincere. And, worse, it must happen with some frequency if he felt the need to bring it up like this.

  


“Do people really do that?” I ventured quietly, unsure if I actually wanted to know the answer or not.

  


Magna hummed distractedly. “Do what?”

  


“R -” I couldn't even bring myself to say the word. Gulping hard, I shuffled a little closer to my escort so that we were nearly walking right on top of one another. “I mean … do they force themselves on other people? Against their will?”

  


He shot me a quick, unreadable look. “Yeah. Some do. But they're scum, and ain't no one like that's gonna' touch you while I'm around so don't get scared now. We're almost there. Besides,” Smirking lazily, Magna's gaze slithered in my direction once again. “Ya' got the same flame magic as I do, chick. If you set them on fire, I can promise you they wont get far.”

  


I smiled, unable to stop myself. That was strangely reassuring for as unnerving as the mere notion was of something like that happening to me or anyone else. I couldn't bear to dwell on it any longer though, silently reminding myself that I'd come here for a reason and I was as safe as I possibly could be as I leaned into the stifling heat of his body. “Is that why we get along so well? Our flame magic?”

  


“You betcha'. We're just stoking each others fires, sweetheart, and I can't wait to see how hot they can burn!”

  


Giggling and snorting between ourselves, we came upon the entrance to the market. Or so Magna claimed anyway. It just looked like a regular, crumbling dead end to me and after offering some half baked explanation about how portals and spatial magic work (“You should ask Finral about it some time!”) he grabbed my hand and yanked me through.

  


I stumbled as the strange sensation of a million, ice cold needle pinpricks washed over me all at once before disappearing as abruptly as it had happened. Blinking at the exceedingly strange feeling that was still lurking just in the back of my mind, I glanced up only to start in surprise when I realized we were standing in a completely different area now. Where the other side of the entrance had been relatively calm with the usual noise of a bustling village, this one seemed much more lively. There were so many unscrupulous looking baseborn people milling about in the narrow street that Magna's warning not to wander off suddenly made perfect sense and I surreptitiously shuffled even closer to him. Someone was playing a flute not too far off, adding to the din, and even further than that came the reverberating sound of drums in the distance. It was overwhelming and fantastic all at once, and I squeezed Magna's hand as a silent reminder that he was still there.

  


“A lot of noble's refuse to come down here on account of all the seedy stories about this place.” He explained, answering my unasked question as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. “Not to mention a lot of em' believe that mingling with commoners is beneath them. But as long as ya' keep a low profile and stick close, you'll be fine. The shops not too far from here. C'mon.” Tugging me into motion, Magna pulled me along behind him and I nearly stepped on the backs of his boots from walking so close. “Its a bit of a hassle, but don't worry about a damn thing! I'll make sure ya' get that toy!”

  


“D-don't be so loud!” I hissed, blushing furiously.

  


Laughing at my reaction, Magna steered us down a tight side street that was so cramped I felt the curling tendrils of claustrophobia washing over me like a chilly fog. We passed a cloaked vendor half way through the alley, his haphazardly erected stall taking up so much space that we had to sidle along the opposite wall just to get around him. I glanced down at his wares as we went, unable to stop myself, and a shiver raced up my spine when I realized he was selling magic enhancing items of a darker persuasion. Cured, leathery looking rabbits feet, brittle bird wings, a dish of salamander toes and even a few vials of preserved eyeballs. The cloudy, horizontal pupils staring back at me through the murky concoction they were swimming in told me without a doubt that they'd all come from goats. I didn't like that. I didn't like it one bit.

  


I swallowed hard, tearing my gaze away only to notice a suspicious looking black pot sitting on the ground near the corner of the stall. There were magically reinforced strips of paper sealing the thing shut and the heavy, slimy feeling I got just from looking at it made my stomach churn. That such a place even existed seemed to boggle the mind and I couldn't exactly fault my parents for never telling me about it. The Black Market seemed to spit in the face of everything I thought I knew about the world and the inherent natures of our grimoires, which frightened me more than anything else I'd encountered thus far. Were things of this sort really so commonplace that those not born into the upper echelons of society truly didn't find it all a bit odd?

  


“Magna-” I choked out, fighting down a fresh wave of nausea.

  


“I know.” He shushed me as he picked up the pace a little bit. “Just try not to look. People set up shop wherever the hell they want so its impossible to avoid that stuff. Keep your eyes on my back.”

  


Forcing myself to do just that, I found a spot between his shoulder blades to focus on until we reached the end of the stifling lane and stepped out into a wider street. It was only then that I dared to peak around at our new surroundings, though I didn't allow my gaze to linger on any one thing for too long. There was a stand selling ornate, jewel encrusted silver and bronze jewelry just a few paces away but I wasn't sure what else I might find if I looked too long so I quickly averted my attention elsewhere.

  


We walked a few paces down this crowded corridor before taking a right turn and walking over the thresh hold into a building. I brought my head up, wondering if we were already there, but I was disappointed to find only a shop selling exotic herbs. There were strung together knots of a rare breed of garlic I'd only ever seen in academic texts hanging in the window, their telltale vibrant shade of red giving them away. Just like with the jewelry I felt my curiosity pique, but I didn't get the chance to study them for more than a brief moment before Magna tugged me up a rickety flight of stairs.

  


The higher we climbed the more uncertain I became. This seemed like an awful lot for a shop that supposedly sold bedroom aids and pornographic magazines, and when we stepped through a doorway that lead out onto a little veranda on the roof I finally let my nerves get the better of me.

  


“Wait.” I blurted, putting on the brakes so hard that Magna jerked to a sudden stop. “I don't like this. Where are we going?”

  


He turned on me so quick that I didn't even have time to react before he was right up in my face, so close that my breath left a faint fog on the lens of his sunglasses. “We've come too far to back out now, girly! What did I tell you about getting spooked? Huh!”

  


I could only blink widely at him, shaken by his close proximity as much as this unnervingly strange market. “I – I'm sorry. I just don't understand. Why is this shop in such a secluded, hard to find place? Doesn't that seem … I don't know, counterproductive to business?”

  


Frowning at me, Magna cocked his head to one side quizzically. “Wait … you really don't know?” When my only response was a blank stare, he slapped his hand to his forehead with a low groan and finally backed off. “Geez, just how much do they keep you noble's in the dark? I thought you were acting so weird about it because you knew this kind of stuff is banned in the Clover Kingdom!”

  


“It's _what_!”

  


“Keep your voice down before someone gets the wrong idea!” He hissed on a vicious whisper. Then, a pinch more calm, he said,“I don't know why so don't ask for any kind of detailed explanation, but the last king decided obscene material was a no-go. That's why you gotta' come down here to the Black Market just to get yer' hands on some porno mags. Trust me, I ain't doing it for the exercise!”

  


The blood seemed to drain from my cheeks all at once and I gaped at him, ashen. This was the first I was hearing anything about it. I'd never even stopped to consider that maybe the reason I'd only heard rumors about these toys was because possessing them was against royal decree. While that certainly made a lot of sense in retrospect, it didn't exactly make me feel any better about the situation I'd inadvertently put myself into.

  


“So ...” I spoke slowly, still trying to wrap my head around this wholly unexpected turn of events. “If I buy a dildo will that make me a – a criminal?”

  


Magna's expression softened slightly, the frown lines at the corners of his mouth fading. “Don't think like that, chick. Pretty much everyone has stuff like this. The ban didn't get rid of shit, just made it go underground. That's all.”

  


My head jerked up before I could catch myself. “Does that mean Ya -” Sputtering and stammering, I rushed to amend my near fatal mistake while Magna curiously watched me flounder. “I m-mean, do the other Black Bulls have obscene material too? Back at the base?”

  


He shrugged, eyeing me almost suspiciously. “I mean, yeah. Some of em'. Noelle and Asta are just as clueless as you so I doubt they've got anything incriminating ...” Pausing, Magna squinted at me as if he'd just noticed something glaringly obvious stuck to my face and he was trying to figure out how to tell me.

  


My pulse pounded inside my ears, so deafeningly loud I could scarcely hear anything else, but somehow I still managed to catch the tentative breath he drew a short moment later.

  


“Hey. You're not actually thinking abo-”

  


“Well! That settles it then!” I cut across him vehemently enough that he clamped his mouth shut, much to my relief. “If everyone else is doing it, then why not! What are they going to do? Arrest the whole squad?” Laughing a little more forcefully than necessary, I reached out and clapped him on the shoulder. “So where's that shop? You said you'd make sure I got one, remember?”

  


Fixing me with a grumpy, disapproving glare, Magna clicked his tongue before turning away. “It's just down this ladder. I'll go first but watch your footing and take your time. I can't guarantee I'll be able to catch ya' so try not to fall.”

  


Relief that he was willing to drop the subject flooded my body so quickly that it left me feeling lightheaded and dizzy. I couldn't tell if Magna had actually caught a whiff of the truth or not, let alone in what capacity, and that looming fear of being found out weighed heavy on my shoulders as I shuffled closer to the edge of the veranda to peak down below. Whether or not he'd say something to Yami seemed about a fifty-fifty chance. On one hand they appeared to be relatively close friends, but on the other Magna and I were friends now too. I knew that had to mean _something_ to him, but I still couldn't help wondering which of us he'd choose if the chips were down.

  


The resounding truth that he'd pick our captain without a second thought chilled me slightly and I realized that I was going to have to be a lot more careful about what I said from now on. Even if Yami really had turned his back on me in favor of Vanessa, that didn't mean I'd ever willingly betray _him_. I was a scorned lover, not a petty snake.

  


“This seems dangerous.” I commented offhandedly as I turned to watch Magna climb down onto the rope ladder hanging off the edge.

  


“You'd be surprised what a guy'll do just to get off.” He grunted in return.

  


I frowned, wondering if that had really been a pointed comment directed at me or if my guilty conscious was just twisting things around to make it seem that way. Forcibly shrugging it off, I moved to crouch down near the ledge so I could get a better look at what he was doing. It seemed simple enough. Just one foot after another – though I had to admit the height, while not so great, inspired some amount of unease in my gut. But I seemed to hesitate a moment too long because, pausing about halfway down, Magna lifted his head to look at me.

  


“You just gonna' stand there all day? Come on!”

  


Frowning, I wondered not for the first time if a dildo was really worth all this trouble. “I don't want you to look up my skirt.” I told him, feeling as silly as I sounded.

  


“I'm not gonna' look!” He insisted. “Just get your ass down here already!”

  


Quickly realizing I needed to get it done and over with before I _really_ made him mad, I groaned under my breath as I got myself into position and carefully stepped down onto the first rung. The ladder shifted under my weight and I froze, waiting until it steadied out before bringing my other boot down. I was still awkwardly half hanging off the veranda, my heart pounding so anxiously inside my chest that I wasn't entirely sure I could make it all the way down on my own. The sensation of open air spreading out around me on all sides just made the anxiety even worse and I clung to the ledge, too scared to let go.

  


“Whats the hold up, chick?” Magna called out after a prolonged moment, sounding infinitely exasperated at this point.

  


Gulping down the rock wedged inside my throat, I forced myself to draw a steadying breath. “Just … getting a feel for it, thats all.” I said weakly.

  


He promptly sighed loud enough for me to hear it. “I can't carry you down. We'll both fall like that. Too bad ya' didn't end up with wind magic, huh?”

  


The sound of his laughter drifting up around me cut right to the bone, and I turned my head just enough to narrow my eyes in his general direction. “Shut _up_. I'm trying to concentrate!”

  


“The more ya' think about it, the harder it'll be.” Magna quipped, terribly reasonable in that observation, and I wanted so badly to curse him for it. “Just do it. Put your left foot down on the next step and don't let go of the rope!”

  


Whimpering, I stiffly followed his directions and stepped down. The ladder shifted again but it stilled quickly enough and, to my credit, I didn't fall. Holding my breath, I repeated the process with my right foot as I slipped my white knuckled grip further down the length of rope holding us up. I was hanging in midair now, a fact I knew all to well, and yet I didn't feel any more at risk of falling than I had when I was still holding onto the ledge. Interesting.

  


“You got this!” Magna called up, cheering me on in his own gruff way. “There ya' go! Just keep taking it slow! One foot at a time!”

  


Biting back the urge to tell him to stick a sock in it, I cautiously picked my way down at his encouragement. It got a little easier the further I went as my body grew accustomed to the rhythm of moving my limbs in tandem with each other rather than at odds, though that hardly eased my anxiety on the matter. It felt like eons had passed before I finally heard Magna announce that I'd reached the bottom and I could step off.

  


I heaved a tired sigh of relief but, much to my mounting horror, it quickly became apparent that I _couldn't_ let go. My hands were locked in place, holding onto the rope so tight they hurt, and no amount of willpower seemed enough to make them relax. I cursed viciously enough to startle even myself and the resulting laughter from just behind me made my cheeks flush in embarrassment.

  


“You're a real piece of work, ya' know that?” Magna snorted and I tensed when I felt him grab me under the armpits a split second later. Pointedly ignoring my surprised protests, he effortlessly plucked me up off the bottom rung and pried my fingers away from the ladder with a jerk.

  


“Ow!” I hissed at the stinging pain as he put me down on my feet and I immediately lifted my hands to inspect the damage to my palms. Sure enough they were rubbed raw and red, and it looked like I might end up with at least one angry blister. Fantastic.

  


“Aww, ya' got a little boo boo?” Magna cooed teasingly as he leaned close to get a good look. “Want me to kiss it and make it better?”

  


I started to open my mouth with every intention of telling him to cut it out when he made some terrible hacking sound. Realizing he was planning on spitting into my hands, I hastily jerked them away in favor of cradling them to my chest. “No! What is wrong with you! That's disgusting!”

  


Chuckling at my expense, he reached out and unceremoniously ruffled my hair. The action reminded me a little too much of Yami for me to be mad about it and I just stood there in dumbfounded silence as Magna turned to walk away without a second thought to the action.

  


“Come on,” He called over his shoulder. “The entrance is right over here.”

  


Abruptly feeling anxious for an entirely different reason that did not involve precariously dangerous ladders, I shuffled after him hot on his heels. This was it, I decided firmly. The moment of truth. I had no doubt that what I was about to see would completely exceed all expectations and even though I didn't feel half as ready as I would've liked, I knew I had to keep my mind focused on the goal.

  


_Don't let it overwhelm and distract you. Just find a dildo that's similar in size and girth to Yami's and get the hell out of here so we can go back to the base._

  


I was increasingly eager to see if my theory would prove true, first and foremost because the sooner I scratched this itch, the sooner I could figure out what to do with the Vanessa situation. I had every confidence that if I wasn't feeling entirely dependent on Yami for my pleasure then my expectations of the Black Bulls captain would greatly change and who knows. I might even decide I didn't need him anymore. _That'd_ certainly teach him to ignore me.

  


Vindication coursed through my veins as we walked up to what appeared to be a medium sized storeroom which was so boxed in between the herb shop and the business next door that there was no conceivable way to get to it other than the ladder. Glancing around, I realized we were completely isolated from the street just on the other side of the buildings and I wondered how many people knew about this place. It seemed like it would be impossible to find if you didn't know where to look and I was even more glad to have Magna as my guide than before. I never would've been able to locate the entrance to the Black Market itself, let alone this secretly sequestered place.

  


“Just keep your cool.” The Yankee in question murmured, giving me a sharp look as he reached for the door handle. “Don't embarrass me in front of the boss, okay? I'll help you find what you want but don't touch nothing, got it?”

  


I nodded my head in understanding. “Loud and clear.”

  


Looking like he didn't quite believe that, Magna pulled the door open and ushered me inside. I'd barely taken one step over the threshold when my eyes widened in shock as the weight of the situation hit me full force and I tried to brake again, desperately wanting a moment to collect myself. My chaperon wasn't having it though and his hand found the small of my back, giving me a rough pinch to kick me into hear as he physically steered me through the entrance of the shop without further ado.

  


“Oh! Magna!” An older man sitting behind a makeshift plank counter glanced up at our entrance. He seemed to recognize the hotheaded Yankee immediately but his smile faded slightly when he looked at me. “And who is this? Your girlfriend?”

  


“Hardly! I'm just helping out a friend is all!” He responded boisterously loud as we came to a grinding halt in front of the elderly shop keep.

  


I kept my eyes firmly locked on the ground through sheer force of will alone, far too embarrassed to take in my surroundings. I'd seen enough in that quick, fleeting glimpse I'd gotten of the interior of the store to recognize how outside my comfort zone I was and I didn't know how to process any of it. The walls were lined from floor to ceiling, so jam packed that it felt like everything was closing in around me, with shelves that were crowded in an innumerable amount of strangely shaped, foreign, leather, lacey things. I could hardly even begin to fathom what any of it was used for or what their appeal might be and I felt entirely overloaded all at once. That certainly didn't stop my imagination from running wild though as I stood there, frozen to the spot, while Magna exchanged a few words with the man.

  


This was so much more awkward than I'd ever anticipated.

  


“So, ya' got that new issue of GlamBunny in yet, boss?” Magna said at length.

  


“Yes, yes. Right here. I always set one aside for you” The owner reached down into a box sitting near the vicinity of his feet and slapped down a laminated magazine on the counter without aplomb.

  


“Thanks! You're the best!” Magna said distractedly as he turned to scan the shelves.

  


I took advantage of his hesitation to sneak a quick peak at the cover of the magazine, my face turning red when I realized the girl on it was practically naked. She was sprawled out on a bed of decadent pink satin cushions, her arms lifted overhead to draw attention to her barely covered chest. The matching pink sheet that seemed to have been carelessly tossed over her slim body hid just enough from view to keep the image relatively innocent had it not been for the suggestion in her pose, but I felt quite certain that the pages inside were much less restrained. I'd never seen anything quite like it before and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little interested in flipping through it, just to see what men found attractive, if nothing else.

  


Not that it'd do me any good considering how steadfastly Yami had ignored me over the last two weeks, but still.

  


Before I could get caught up in that crushing feeling of inadequacy, Magna suddenly shoved me into motion again and I stumbled forward as he said something to the owner about browsing. I wasn't entirely sure what was going on anymore and I almost tripped over my own feet in my valiant effort to keep to my gaze focused on the floor. That proved to be a vain effort though when he directed me into a corner of the cramped store and my head came up on flustered impulse.

  


“Here.” Magna announced rather proudly.

  


“What?” I croaked, trying to make heads or tails of what I was staring at.

  


Sucking on his teeth, he leaned over my shoulder and tapped on the box that was directly in my line of sight. “Dildos. What siza ya' want, chick?”

  


My eyes widened when my brain finally put two and two together and I quickly brought my hands up to cover my face. This was so embarrassing! How was I possibly supposed to find one that was similar to Yami if I couldn't even bear to look at them without feeling swamped with mortifying shame? And why were some of them such strange colors! I very much doubted there were any men with green cocks between their legs.

  


“Come on. Don't be like that.” Magna sighed, keeping his tone purposely even. “We didn't come all the way down here just for you to chicken out. Look, this ones … nice.”

  


I could tell he was trying, which I appreciated more than I could ever put into words, so I took a steadying breath as I forced myself put in an effort too. Lowering my trembling hands, I cautiously regarded the one he'd indicated with a fresh wave of uncertainty.

  


“It's too small.” I whispered after a long pause.

  


“Okay.” Sounding like he'd half expected that response, Magna pointed at a different one. “How about this guy? He looks like he could treat a woman right.”

  


Screwing up my expression, I gave him a quick look. “No. Too small.”

  


“Uh, okay.” Frowning in confusion, he moved on to the next size up. “What about good old 'Johnny-O'? It says he's made for hitting those hard to reach spots.”

  


“No.”

  


“Oh, come on!” Turning on me in the tightly packed aisle, Magna almost knocked over an entire shelf of fluffy cat ear headbands in his haste to fix me with a glare. “What are you, a size queen? Give me a break! Johnny-O deserves better than a one word response, girly. Didn't ya' hear me? He hits the hard to reach spots! What more do you want!”

  


Breathing out through my nose, I helplessly tossed my hands up in the air. “I don't know! This is all a lot to take in and I'm not really sure what to look for. I guess I just want something … thick and – maybe a little veiny.”

  


He was looking at me in such outright shock that I had to turn my head away. I was seconds from throwing in the towel and deeming this entire excursion one giant waste of time, both discouraged and thoroughly humiliated, when a box that had been shoved on a lower shelf caught my attention. I stooped to pick it up, my pulse pounding as I took in the picture on the front.

  


“This is nice.” I said, more to myself than anything else.

  


Magna suddenly sucked in such a haggard breath of air that it sounded like he was choking and my gaze worriedly darted up. “Are you out of your goddamn mind?” He hissed, all but gaping at me. “That thing will tear you in two! I don't know what the hell you're thinking, but this” Pausing, he roughly jabbed his finger at the box in my hand. “Is not gonna' fit in _this_.”

  


That same finger pressed against my lower stomach, just under my belly button, and I shuddered at the contact. He was right. It seemed impossible to imagine something like this carving out a space inside my body but, to be fair, I hadn't thought Yami would fit either. The sensation of being stretched to the absolute limit, stuffed to bursting, was one I remembered all too well and I suddenly felt unbearably hot as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. This was exactly what I was looking for, I was sure of it. If this couldn't make me feel as good as the Black Bulls captain did then nothing would.

  


“I want this one.” I blurted out before I had the grace to act embarrassed about it.

  


Saying Magna looked like he wanted to throttle me in that moment would be an understatement. He was all but ready to go in for the kill. “Are you sure about that? _Positive_? You can't return it, y'know. You'll be stuck with it for life, and you'd better not come crying to me if you ever get caught with that monster in your room. Where are you gonna' to hide it?”

  


“I'll figure out something.” I murmured, glancing down at the box again. I couldn't wait to lock myself inside my room and try it out.

  


Groaning, my newfound friend brought his hands up to rub his temples in slow, tentative motions that seemed to suggest on oncoming headache. “Fine. Fine! Have it your way. Its your pussy, not mine.”

  


“Magna!” I gasped, affronted.

  


“What! That's where its going, isn't it?” Scoffing at me, he turned and skulked off down the aisle without a backward glance. I hesitated to follow, uncertainty weighing me down, but it seemed I didn't have to because he returned a short moment later with a tube in hand. “If you're set on the biggest one they've got, you're gonna' need this.”

  


I warily took the offered item and read over the label. “Lubrication?”

  


“I'll explain on the way home.” Magna heaved a tired sigh, directing me towards the front counter with a heavy hand on my shoulder.

 


End file.
